Jeannette Kagame Raises Concern Over Declining Interest in Marriage Among Young People

First Lady of Rwanda Jeannette Kagame has raised concern over changing attitudes toward marriage among young people, saying fewer people are choosing to marry while others are delaying marriage or deciding not to marry at all.

She made the remarks on Sunday, September 6, 2026, while addressing participants at the Young Leaders Prayer Breakfast, an event organised by the Rwanda Leaders Fellowship (RLF).

The gathering brought together young leaders to reflect on the role of strong and stable families in shaping responsible leadership and contributing to national development.

Jeannette Kagame said perceptions of marriage among young people are changing, with some postponing it for extended periods while others are increasingly opting out of marriage altogether.

She noted that many people now feel they should first accomplish a number of personal goals before committing to marriage, including completing their education, securing stable employment or paying off debts.

According to Jeannette Kagame, however, waiting until every personal goal has been achieved can sometimes result in people postponing marriage for years, while their desire or readiness to build a family may gradually diminish.

She also highlighted the rise of relationships that continue for long periods without a clear commitment or shared direction.

The First Lady referred to various terms increasingly used to describe romantic relationships, including dating, talking stages and other forms of intimate relationships. She said some of these relationships can continue for lengthy periods without developing into clear commitments or responsibilities.

She specifically referred to “situationships” — relationships in which people may share romantic or emotional connections without having clearly defined expectations or plans for the future.

Jeannette Kagame cautioned against seeking the benefits associated with family life while avoiding the responsibilities that come with building and sustaining a family.

“Some want the outcome, but do not want the commitment and responsibility behind it. Some want children, but do not want the daily responsibilities required to raise them,” she said.

She warned that when marriage and family responsibilities are not taken seriously, children can ultimately bear some of the consequences.

Family Stability and Leadership

Jeannette Kagame linked attitudes toward marriage and family life to the strength and resilience of families.

She said young leaders should not focus exclusively on professional skills, academic knowledge and career development, but should also develop their character, emotional maturity and ability to build healthy relationships.

Rwanda has increasingly placed young people in positions of responsibility across government, the private sector and other institutions. Jeannette Kagame said this progress should also prompt reflection on whether other important aspects of leadership development are receiving sufficient attention.

“Are there areas that may not have received enough attention? Have we focused on intelligence and ability while not giving enough attention to developing character, emotional maturity and relationships with others, even though these are also essential for becoming a good leader at home and at work?” she asked.

She encouraged young leaders to view strong families as part of their broader responsibility toward building the country.

Warning Against Silent Conflict in Families

The First Lady also addressed married couples, urging them to pay attention to everyday behaviours that can gradually weaken relationships.

She said marriages are not always damaged by a single major incident. Instead, repeated small behaviours can gradually undermine trust and emotional connection between partners.

She cited prolonged silence, isolation and refusing to discuss problems as examples of behaviours that can negatively affect relationships.

“Silence, withdrawal or refusing to talk can be used as weapons just like hurtful words. A home may appear peaceful from the outside, while inside, silence is damaging trust and the relationship,” she said.

She further emphasised the importance of trust as a foundation for marriage, saying it can help couples navigate disagreements and confront challenges together.